In thinking of the many challenges that a 21st century family may face one realizes that many of them are timeless and universal. Families across the centuries have been wracked by loss, estrangement, abuse; individual members have been outcast, lonely, longing for love, acceptance, and comfort. The societal norms, the points of contention, and the methods of coping have evolved and changed, but perhaps the difficulties of human, and therefore family, existence remain largely the same through the ages.
But here and now, America 2018, how do we respond to the challenges, how do we celebrate the joys of family? How do we recognize them? Do we watch for how others stand?
We hear of immigrant children being taken from their parents; of (young) people being rejected by their families when they come out; of people so busy trying to scrape a living - or make it big - in this tilted society that they have no time for family; of family units split by political differences … and the list could go on. All these events and circumstances make lonely people. So the very simple question we can ask ourselves is: are we keeping our eyes, our arms, and our hearts open to the lonely? That is something we can try to be aware of every day -- offering ourselves as family to those who may not be able to turn to their own any more.
And then there are the joys to celebrate. The parent who loves and accepts their child for who they are, no matter what. Two people finding love, home, family in one another. The gift of growing up safe, provided and cared for.
We have all grown to be who we are because of the unique combination of joys and hardships we have experience within -- or without -- our families. These experiences, however individual, fit us to be empathetic. Our (past) trouble can be the very thing that allows us to help someone in need.
[No family is, or ever has been perfect. But if we continue to recognize our imperfections and learn from them, then maybe, together, we can come closer.
Let’s strive for our 21st century family to expand in its inclusivity.]\
-Addie Rose